I had a really good friend message me on Instagram and tell me she looked at my blog and was hoping to find a piece about wow to politely ask her Wedding Photographer what photos they do and do not want! She was worried she might overstep boundaries when she has photos she specifically wants and wants to show the proper etiquette and politeness to her photographer!
It was such a great question & am so excited to able to answer it!
Let’s start with timeline concerns & questions. Whether you, your photographer or your planner is building your timeline for your wedding day, there is bound to be something on there that you disagree with. For instance, your photographer might have family pictures lasting 45 minutes with your extended family but you only want photos of your very small immediate family. How should you go about wording this to your photographer?
I would start by thanking them for their time and effort in building your timeline. It does take time and sometimes a great deal of brain power to make sure you have the best lighting for all the photography situations. It would then be very important to be honest and to the point. I know as a photographer there is nothing I dislike more than when a Bride beats around the bush with her question because she is afraid she is going to hurt my feelings and then is later upset with me because we weren’t able to capture what she wanted. After all, it is HER wedding day and I am there to serve her and her future husband’s needs. Being honest with your photographer and telling him/her that you only want a limited amount of family photos instead of the long set up is OKAY! The photographer is not going to be hanging your family photos on their wall – YOU are!
This goes for anything in the timeline. You may really want your extended family to be in the photos – then all you need to do is tell your photographer…with the understanding the time allotted for family pictures might extend into another part of your day’s time.
Another part of my friend’s question goes to specific posing she does or does not want. If I am able to be 100% honest with this topic I am going to tell you, I personally, do not like to have sheets of Pinterest ideas emailed to me and then expected to be captured on the wedding day. I even have a part in my contract that discusses it. When I am given a Pinterest list of poses it really harbors my creativity and my unique perspective. While I don’t mind scrolling through your Pinterest board to get an idea of what you might like, I am not going to guarantee any of those particular poses because…well…that is technically someone else’s hard work! I would love the opportunity to create a special and unique photo for my couple instead!
As a Bride, I am sure you did extensive research into all the vendors you hired, your photographer being one. You chose them because you loved their work, posing, style. You must then trust that they are going to be able to capture your day exactly how they say they will.
On the other hand, if you have a special request for a photo it does not hurt to make sure they know it ahead of time. I have many Bride’s have a special token they want documented, such as a handkerchief or pearl necklace passed down from their grandmother. I absolutely want to know of these details if they are important to the Bride!
Basically, if you have a request for a photo it doesn’t hurt to mention it to your photographer. It can be very beneficial to the to know that you would be very sad if you didn’t have ___(fill in the pose)__ photo. That way they can be prepared AND still have their creative and unique stand point on the photo. I would stray away from sending multiple Pinterest ideas that you MUST have, because this can not only discourage your photographer, but it also limits the amount of original-just-to-your-own-wedding photographic moments!
So be honest with your photographer! We are definitely not mind readers!
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